So the latest of the conversations hanged around flirting for us married women…. and our better-or-for-worse half! How much is too much? Is it criminal to flirt after marriage…..
I thought of checking it out with my friends, only married ones, about the validity of flirting after marriage… is it still fashionable in the Poo-bani-Parvati age or is it ‘pervert’? Pervert, because for us Indians, every step, every aspect of our being, is judged across the established norms of society, therefore, the mere mention of the fact that I have written a blog on Flirting after marriage will scandalize many 😉
Okay! like always, flirting when translated to hindi on google suggests the most wackiest meaning ever possible – “Hasi Udana”… I beg to differ, if flirting was making fun of people many men and women would have never been married… unka divorce to shaadi se pehle hi ho gaya hota… flirting ne kitne rishton ki neev rakhi hogi, although I am pretty sure, numerous relations must have been broken cos of flirting 😉
So what is it about flirting that makes it sinful after marriage… For starters, flirting is a healthy thing, people flirt some voluntarily, some involuntarily, some naturally, some unnaturally, so should this be criminalized for spouses who are doing it by the ones who are NOT?
With this question in my mind, I decided to run it through my WA friends… the response was shocking across gender lines.. the girl gang was very verbal as always about what they ‘feel’ about flirting while my aadmi dost, including yours truly’s husband, had to be poked to retrieve answers… That is the thing about men, when a woman asks them a little disturbing question, they start searching for the most ‘politically correct answer’… warna ghar pe dana-pani band hone ka khatra hai!
Anywho!!! Women, as one would know, have limits attached to everything… so why not for flirting… ‘Yaar, anything I can accept my hubby doing, goes out for me as well ‘ quipped one to which everyone agreed… so the boundary line was drawn… ‘healthy’ flirting is fine, it increases one’s sexy quotient you see… but not beyond that… Guilt vuilt ka chakkar hi nahi hai yahaan pe because jab pati is not guilty then why should we? Women’s equality ne yahaan bhi nahi chhoda. But, they don’t initiate flirting, they only make the situation conducive for the guy to start it … Point well taken girls!!!!
So do they have flirt buddy! the answer is an enviable YES!! all of them… Who is this flirt buddy typically like? A Mr. Darcy vs A Vicky Donor, pat comes the reply… Mr. Darcy!!! Jane Austen has really converted all of us in hopeless romantics 😦 and is there anything that turns them off… Oh Yes!!!! when the guy becomes too obvious that he is all over her…
Contrary to this, the aadmi dost feel that a girl’s physical appearance is what turns them off, it could be her hair or excessive make up or anything physical ! They dont even mind cougars as long as they are hot!!! Their limit is crossed when the woman tries to get touchy-feely and they will inevitably flirt with single women!!! So Shruti Kakkar of Band Baja Baraat vs. Rachel of Friends, men would choose the later… Yes Sir, because shrutis of the world can give you One Tight Slap 😉 while the Rachels of the world are a little dumb :-)… Besides a married aadmi dost quipped married men are considered safe by single women and why shouldn’t they be, they always have hitler’s clone waiting back home with a belan!
Finally, I can see this thing about flirting clearly now! Come to think of it, the relations of dewar-bhabhi or jija-saali, is also that of healthy flirting, and that has been acceptable in Indian culture for like a zillion years, isnt it? looks like the Indian culture also accepts ‘healthy flirting’ in its larger scheme of things!!! With this divine sanctity, please continue flirting till death do you part!
Until next time,
DISCLAIMER: These views are expressed by married and only married people!