How not to be ‘Single and barren’ -lessons from Mrs. Deshpande

And here I go again. Donning my neo-feminist hat and unable to come to terms with the ‘dress like an Indian woman’ theory of Mrs. Deshpande (the lady in the pic) I decided to do what I do the best, write about it. So here it goes..

The major contention of Mrs. Deshpande includes, but is not limited to, jeans/pants causing PCOD in girls because they confuse themselves to be a man and therefore, a gender role reversal takes place.

Oh how I wish Mrs. Deshpande’s medical breakthrough would have happened a couple of years back. It would have saved me from a troubled marriage, the innumerable hormonal injections and 3 operations inorder to have a child (which unfortunately never happened). It would have most definitely stopped me from thinking about calling my autobiography- ‘ Single and barren’. 

Alas Mrs. Deshpande did not realise that PCOD or any hormonal imbalance can occur for variety of reasons. It can be because of stress, genetics, the food we eat, the lifestyle we have and also the morons we have to deal with on a daily basis. 

To her second contention that a separate area for girls in the canteen will save girls from harassment; like always, Ted Talk came to rescue me. A powerful talk, in form of a conversation, where an actual rapist and his victim talked about their experiences post the rape, nearly 20 years after the said incident.The victim said,

“Only one thing could have stopped me from being raped that night, and it wasn’t my skirt, it wasn’t my smile, it wasn’t my childish trust. The only thing that could’ve stopped me from being raped that night is the man who raped me — had he stopped himself.”

Will Mrs. Deshpande instead focus on educating girls to be powerful and independent and the boys to respect girls. As an educator she would have created a more profound change, instead of this tughlaqi idea.

And as a parting note, if someone will ask Mrs. Deshpande please that an Indian woman wearing Indian clothes, married to an Indian man, is raped most of her married life, and that is called ‘marital rape’. So if a woman’s security is not guaranteed in her own home by wearing Indian clothes, by a man who vows to ensure her safety, how can we assure her safety on the street. Instead of telling girls on what to wear, it is time to train them so that they are empowered enough to take care of themselves in whatever situation life throws on them.

On that note,

Until next time!


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