Good Lord What a week this has been, or should I say month, year, decade or LIFE? Its always been tiring, exhausting, adventurous, fun-filled, share of success and failures, happy people and also the disappointed ones. The Pleasing Spree and the distant contempt, that I so oscillate in between. Hmmm! But nonetheless, its just the person that I am now. Don’t see myself changing anytime soon though! But, the current struggle is with the art of balancing, multi-tasking, disciplining or whatever it is that one would want to call it. I am tired.
No amount of apps, calendars, evernotes and to-do lists have been bringing any order in my life. I am working hard and no amount of looking at the interesting sign on my board which says, ‘It hurts now but one day it will be your warmup´ is able to give any consolation.
Litigation is an exhausting field but so is any work that one pursues, which one is passionate about. Personally, I feel being a Mom is the most exhausting profession and nothing compares to it. But, coming back to my Ram Kahani. I lack discipline. Or maybe, I am biting more than I can chew and therefore, so many areas of my life are going unattended.
The major problem area, as I see it, is in working-out. My exercise routine has gone for a toss. In my defense, I go to the gym regularly. But, most of my time is spent near coffee machine, sitting idly most of the times lazily, trying to get started with workout. The classes most definitely invigorate me. But, then I have stopped running. I am eating a lot of junk food and not exercising properly and I fear that I may put on the weight I had lost with great difficulty.
Work has taken too much priority, to the extent that I am putting more than 12-14 hours a day, 7 days. Sleep has gone for a toss and I go to bed tired and wake up tired too.
So why am I writing this blog post. Do I want sympathy, am I trying to explain to those well-meaning friends who have intervened and told me that I am going off-track. May be Yes, but what is most certain is the fact that I am writing this to myself. I am trying to have an intervention with myself, telling myself that it is time to stop and rescue myself yet again.
The wake-up call came when I had posted a pic on Instagram and a friend sent me a message saying, You look pale, are you ok? I replied about some work which I had to do for him, totally ignoring the question he posed and he replied saying, I messaged b’cos of my concern, work is secondary. Too many people this past week have said the same thing and I have been telling myself that it is probably the lipstick shade that I have changed which is causing me to look pale. I am Fine. Just Fine.
But, no I am not. I need to get discipline back in life, in terms of workout, food and a work-life balance. I need to live a joyous life and not one where I look stressed all the time, as if the great Himalayas are tied to my back.
SO here is the thing, everytime any of you reading this, see me stressed, ask me to smile… the times that anyone of you sees me lazying around the coffee machine, ask me to get up and workout… and everytime, I am putting the lighter shade of lipstick, please ask me to wear Ruby Woo!!! Help me help myself, before I forget to smile altogether.
P.S. I will probably get irritated or angry or offended, but if you are a friend, you would know to stick around until I am past this phase !!! J